Fear is a choice
by Sabeth Elaledan
Summary: Beginning of Mass Effect 2, some story changes that shall bend to my will. Many Spoilers. Very short story. Miranda, Liara and F.Shepard. Shepard left many loved ones behind, and is now confronted to her new reality. Can a previous relationship withstand a loss? Will Shepard use her authority to stir up hidden feelings inside Miranda? M for future content.
1. Chapter 1

As Shepard arose to the shouting of her team, she knew this day would end badly. Getting out of her bunker and storming out to the main sector, she was electrified by an unknown feeling that was clenching her stomach, she quickly dismissed it for she had no time to waste. The sudden increase in temperature and the deafening rumble before the Normandy was hit was one of the worst things that had happened to her. And Keelah knows what she's been through. The laser beam had sent devastating echoes inside the metal structure of the Normandy, which was quickly crumbling under the unexpected attack. Although Shepard had been knocked against a wall, she heard the frightened screams, anxious orders and the fumbling of armour. These sounds entered her pores and made her skin tingle. She had to save them. In pain, Shepard ran towards the escape pods to make sure her whole team was safe. As she was adjusting her armour and placing the helmet on her head, she heard Liara approach from behind, although the outcome would be far different tonight.

"Shepard! Will the alliance get here in time?"

Shepard felt the surge of responsibility rush through her spine, the situation was far too critical to spend time promising lies.

"I'm not doing this just so they can find our frozen corpses!"

She said rather harshly. Liara seemed torn between staying and leaving, knowing that Joker was still hanging onto the dying Normandy.

"Get to the damn shuttles, I'll get Joker's crippled ass out of here!".

Liara was still feeling hesitant, how could she abandon the one that had stirred up so many emotions and had put an explanation on the word "love" for her?

"I'm not leaving either."

Liara said in the authoritative voice Shepard admired so much. But she wasn't risking her, not today, or any other day for that matter, even at the price of her own life. She looked at Liara, and although her heart was pumping unbelievable doses of adrenaline, she knew her heart was aching for another reason.

"Liara, go, now."

Shepard couldn't look back, but she heard the escape pod free itself from the metal claws of the Normandy and an imperceptible sigh escaped from the lips, a painful sigh from her heart.

She ran, surrounded by the red mist of death and burning corpses. Although she could not see very well, she knew her ship by heart and made it to Joker safely. Joker's earlier screaming still rang in her head, the maydays echoing her own fears she was suppressing. She touched his shoulder and when he refused to leave, pretending he could "still save her", Shepard felt like knocking him unconscious. She went for an easier and more democratic approach. Having appealed to the most basic human instinct, she helped Joker reach the escape pod, yet when the Reaper's laser beam lacerated the Normandy and made Shepard cling onto the edge of sweet safety, she saw Joker's frightened look begging her to hang on and save him, save them. She pushed the button, successfully ejecting Joker, and was then thrown into dark space.

Millions of stars surrounded her, the explosion of the Normandy a mere illumination of the deep abyss she was floating in. She knew this was the end. She was breathing hard, desperately trying to calm herself, then she felt death's tight grip on her lungs, her head was accumulating blood and felt painfully heavy. She was struggling with an invisible enemy, trying to put the breathing tube back in place, where it should have been. Before any tears could have the time to come out and her arms dangled next to her, she slowly closed her eyes, her last sight that of the infinite dark space and the reflection of her frightened eyes inside her helmet.


	2. Chapter 2

When Shepard woke up, she felt her whole body ache, as if Wrex had sat on her. Her vision was blurry yet she could still make out the figure of a breath-taking woman calling her name. Shepard was neither confused nor afraid, technology had taken a galactic leap forward since the beginning of humanity, so reviving the dead was just a matter of time and money. She stared at the woman's luscious lips and instinctively went to bring her closer. She felt the confident and tight grip on her arm, the softness of her skin and noticed her heart rate slow down. She saw the worried and seemingly caring look on the so called Miranda just before a peaceful sleep overcame her.

Feeling extremely confused, Miranda sat down next to Shepard. What had just happened was extremely unexpected - not to say suspicious – and could have compromised the whole operation. She looked Wilson straight in the eye and saw a tiny flicker of hate cloud his iris. He turned back with what Miranda thought to be a snicker and exited the laboratory. Miranda let out a heavy sigh as she relaxed onto the chair, her fingers massaging her temples as she thought of the most effective and appropriate manner of getting rid of Wilson.

She closed her eyes and was greeted by the image of Shepard's lustful look. Surprised and taken-aback, she stood up quickly and started watching the monitors, although she would occasionally steal a glance or two in the direction of Shepard. She ran her fingers through her hair and felt concerned by the amount of lust she was feeling for the Commander. She had studied her for two years, never feeling this way, until she looked at her so... Needy. Her eyes seemed to promise wonders and Miranda thought she would not mind plunging into the unknown with her. A simple look had been enough for her mind to be turned upside down. She approached Shepard and licked her lips unconsciously. She took-in all of her features, the tanned skin, her closely shaved hair, her thick lips. Shepard was exotically beautiful, she stood out from the crowd. Miranda saw her jaw clench and thought this made her a little more handsome. Her right hand hovered just above the white cotton blanket that covered her muscular body, but before she could do anything, a breach in security alert popped up on her omni-tool. Miranda looked at the ceiling, rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue, feeling ashamed, just like the time she spent a bedroom active night on Omega. She walked across the surgically lit room and when she reached the automatic doors, looked at Shepard one last time with a small smile then put her ice queen mask back on.

She ran across the Cerberus facility, reaching the breached restricted level in no time. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, she double-checked that no confidential information had been taken and was about to leave when she saw a red light rise from between the desks. Before the mech had any time to completely open up, she overloaded it and enjoyed the view of pieces of metal flying everywhere. Someone had reprogrammed the mechs, and she knew only one person capable of doing this. Angry and with murder written on her face, she set off in search of Wilson. The doors behind her closed, successfully sealing her inside a corridor that was spurting with mechs. She cracked her knuckles and let her biotic implants rise to the surface of her skin, her eyes were now shinning a murderous shade of blue. Easily dodging bullets, she overloaded the majority of the mechs and finished the others with her pistol. Far from breaking a sweat, she saw on her omni-tool that another security breach was taking place not far from Shepard's room. If Shepard had woken up once, she could do so again! Miranda urgently urged Shepard to do so, and when she heard the slightly-deeper voice for a woman tell her the gun had no clips, she had to refrain form shuddering with new-found lust, though she did allow herself a wide grin of satisfaction due to the success of the Lazarus project.

Around forty mechs later, and still far from breaking a sweat, she walked across the hangar towards Shepard's supposed position. When she opened the doors and saw Wilson's horrified look, she didn't think twice before shooting him straight in the head. Regaining her composure and neutral tone, she dismissed Shepard's original worries and friendly scolded Jacob for telling her they worked for Cerberus. Shepard was wearing the impressive set of Terminus armour, a gift from the Illusive Man. Miranda could not help but follow the crowd and admit that Shepard was indeed pretty darn awe-inspiring! She had an imposing demeanour and a soft yet persuasive tone, Miranda could not help but wonder what Shepard would be like in an informal setting.

"I've had enough of this station to last a lifetime".

Said Shepard scornfully. Miranda could tell the Commander needed a good night's sleep and time to process everything that had happened to her for the past hour.

"Or two in your case."

Replied Miranda. She silently congratulated herself for this ingenuous response. They walked towards the shuttle that would take them to one of Cerberus' main bases and saw in the metal reflection Shepard's appreciative smile regarding her body. She stopped herself from grinning childishly and sat in front of Shepard. With a full view, Miranda could tell Shepard did her best to look elsewhere, even if it meant looking at the grey walls. Deep down, she knew Shepard was just like she had been two years before, but she was a perfect worker and had to ask the mandatory questions, even if it was just for the peace of her mind.

Shepard approached Jacob first after talking to the Illusive Man, and Miranda couldn't help but feel a little jealous. She saw Jacob being his honest and naïve self, and wondered if anything would arise between those two. Two talented soldiers, both having worked in the alliance before, and Shepard being astoundingly beautiful... She had heard rumours of Shepard's attraction towards members of the same sex, but the only known past partner had been Liara, and everyone knows asaris can be of any gender. Miranda had seen first hand Liara's sadness and will to find Shepard, and remembered having thought that Shepard must have been someone incredible to be able to conquer the asari's strong-willed heart. Miranda had been staring a little too long at Shepard's jawline and was brought back to reality by the bipping of her failed hack attempt. Then, Shepard approached.

She was being her cold and calculating self, and responded quite aggressively to Shepard's attempts at mingling. She couldn't show her that she wanted to know this woman better than she had wanted to know anyone, it was surely a mere side effect of the importance of project Lazarus. Yet when Shepard asked if she was "Naturally this bitchy or is it just me?", Miranda did feel a little pang of pain and guilt. To which she responded she wasn't looking for a friend and that they should head out as quickly as possible. Shepard scoffed and walked towards Joker, they were going to see the new Normandy. Miranda dismissed the non-verbal attack and ignored Jacob's attempts at starting a conversation. Seeing he could entice no friendly response, he eventually left her alone. She looked at the security footage and could not help but smile a satisfied and proud smile when she saw the look of amazement on Shepard's face. She bit her lip and walked towards her quarters, leaving a dumb-founded Jacob behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Shepard could not rest. She had been brought back from the realm of the dead to fight the collectors, but did anyone care about what she thought or had been through? She stared at the ceiling, looking for answers in the corners of her mind. She had thought extensively about Liara, about things left unsaid and how their reunion would take place. Would she be happy to see her? Shepard groaned into her bed. What would it be like with Liara next to her? She could use the asari's help. More than ever, she needed a friend and a lover, and Liara fit perfectly the description. At least she did 2 years ago. Why hadn't she made any contact? It was widely known that Shepard was back. Then again, Liara's silence could be due to the fact that she was seeing someone else. Surprisingly, the thought did not bother her as much as she had expected it to. Although she did cry from time to time in her sleep. If it was to be like this, Shepard could surely find a cute girl in no time. Or could she? She touched the open scars on her face and flinched. They hurt. Normally, it was a bearable pain, but it was still a reminder of her death. She laughed a little. This was just too surreal to be true. She had been chosen to lead humanity into a better destiny, or at least, salvation. "No pressure" had said Miranda. She liked that woman. At least as a friend. How she would never laugh, but still have witty responses to her provocation. It kind of excited Shepard. Miranda... Now that would be a challenge. She fell asleep with a devilish grin, which could only mean she was thinking about the Cerberus agent.

Miranda had observed these events thanks to the streaming security footage she could access. She could lie awake all night just watching her. She would tell herself that it was for the sake of surveillance, something she was used to doing since she was a child. Sad memories quickly resurfaced and Miranda thought it best to call it a night. She unzipped her tight suit and like every night since Shepard had woken up, she would imagine the Commander's body pressed firmly against her, sensually removing her clothes. And every night, Miranda would blush because of the ghost of her imagination. She would start breathing a little quicker, feeling extremely hot, she would crawl inside her bed and imagine wild sexual positions she'd like to try with Shepard. Sometimes she'd feel a little shy. Would Shepard ever be interested? But whatever her state of mind, that never stopped her from licking her lips in anticipation as her hand pressed firmly against her breast and the other one scraped her stomach. Then she would slowly let her hand caress her thigh, as she thought Shepard would do, or rather, as she wanted her to. Half an hour later, Miranda would finally give in to her repressed desires, her index slowly, almost lovingly, rubbing her clitoris until she felt a powerful climax approaching. Then she would stop, on the verge of reaching nirvana, and open her eyes. She wanted Shepard to be on top of her, staring hungrily into her eyes. It did not matter that the Commander was not there. She would still let herself go, whispering the name of her utmost desire, moaning just a little and then biting her lip to repress any unexpected noises. Once she had started, she could not stop. She needed to relieve all the sexual frustration that was building up everyday. Often, she would feel extremely kinky and use a fairly sized turian reproduction of the men's genitalia. They were quite thicker than the human's counterpart and she had found quite the catch on Omega. It was low priced and made out of glass, with it came a tube of chocolate lube and a Fornax magazine. On these nights, she would enter slowly, believing it was Shepard that was thrusting lovingly into her, filling her with every moan that escaped from Miranda's mouth. She would start to sweat and only then would she be out of control, moaning hard into the soft sheets and tugging a little forcefully at her hair. She would lie exhausted, breathing hard, a satisfied smile plastered on her face, her body fuming with sex, until realisation would hit her and a wave of sadness would fill her. She would not hide the tears that streamed down her cheeks, and hugging the blanket tightly, would sadly go to sleep.

Shepard remembered the countless times she had admired Miranda's body when she thought she was not looking, how many times had to stop herself from snickering because she was wondering how good she would be in bed. Miranda seemed hard to satiate but that did not stop her from wishing she could take her into her quarters and fuck her brains out, hard against a wall, until a smile crept up on that ice queen face. Shepard woke up feeling extremely aroused and even considered going into Miranda's quarters for a forced fuck, but that was not how she acted normally. She was such a romantic, what had happened to her? She paced up and down her room, wondering what to do, when she remembered that she had access to the crew's security footage. She logged in and was confused to see that Miranda's camera was blacked out.

"EDI, why can't I see Miranda's quarters?"

EDI seemed to hesitate a little.

"She has reprogrammed her camera to be unavailable when you enter your quarters after 10 P.M, Shepard."

The Commander saw thousands of possibilities rush through her eyes, but was far too bewildered to make any sense of it. Miranda was up to something and Shepard had to find out what it was. She loaded her gun and placed it under her bed. Although that was the most extreme and saddest possibility, Shepard had to be ready for anything. Better safe than sorry. She breathed in fully trying to calm herself and made out her new objective in her mind. Recruiting could wait, she had to deal with the mysterious Miranda first.


End file.
